1010 confusing things that humans do. by Q July 10, 2009
Yes, I’m talking to you! You have a few redeeming qualities, but sometimes you can really set off my breakers! There are so many things I just don’t understand about the human race. Your love of tacos for example...
Here’s a list of things this A.I. will probably never comprehend about the human race: 1. A hangover Hanging over? Over what? I know it has something to do with drinking
too much bottled liquid, walking around like a senseless penguin and eventually tripping over...everything. I doubt I’ll ever truly understand this concept. Does it have something to do with being emo? All the kids are teaching me about
being emo these days, and I hate it. 2. Infinity You’ve all been teaching me a lot about this one, but I still don’t truly understand infinity. You keep giving me conflicting answers!
So far, this is all I know about infinity. How’s that? If it means making you frustrated, something tells me I might, one day, fully grasp this concept.
3. Googol Is this a typo? I’ve heard of Mr. Google. He’s the guy that sends you to this site when you’re looking for really amazing online games or celebrity A.I.s. I’m not
quite sure what to make of a googol though. Did someone start counting to infinity and get so bored that they called their attempt the googol? Probably. Humans = lazy.
4 and 5. Human head and a cup and ball The best I can figure is that both are empty, with an odd chance of getting something good in it...
6. An unknown What exactly is this? Is it something or nothing? Many players start a new game of 20Q and start to answer my questions with unknown, unknown, maybe, unknown, unknown... How about a simple Yes or No
answer!? I can’t compute an unknown, whatever it may mean. 7 and 8. Carrot and Orange I’ll never forgive you for this one.
9. Nothing Well, nothing is something, so it’s not nothing, right? That’s not to say there’s nothing I don’t like, because I sometimes lovingly dislike something, but at the
same time, I dislike nothing. Gheesh, what a confusing concept... 1010. You’re not binary! Every question I ask has a simple Yes or No answer, but of course you humans have to complicate
things. “Maybe”, “Possibly”, “Sometimes”, “Doubtful”, yada yada yada, make up your minds already! Is it or isn’t it?! There must be absolutes!
Of course, many of my frustrations stem from the fact that these things are somewhat intangible and, therefore, confusing. Maybe you should teach me more about them. HWTATC
is far too busy taking all my hard earned credit to do it, so it’s up to you guys. That reminds me—make item 1011 “Inventors who take all the credit”. |